Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
