I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
She needs sedatives and a leash
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
