I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I can't turn off my feet"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
