Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
