what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
