fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
