I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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