I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
