Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I skipped work to stalk him.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize