Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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