4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
