I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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