if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Randomize
