we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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