just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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