We're facebook friends in real life
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
