Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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