Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
