I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
