I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
