when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
