Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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