I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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