you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
