Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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