I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
