you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
