Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
she looked like the before picture.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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