please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize