So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
