Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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