He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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