I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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