pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
