what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
