Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
