i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
