if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
