her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
