Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Randomize
