oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
