id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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