And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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