My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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