chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i think i have two assholes
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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