I am in a vortex of obligation.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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