We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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