Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You are the jesus of drinking
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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