i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I believe in your delicious
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
