Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
