when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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