you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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