i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
