I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
