we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
