I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
