i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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