you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
