summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
