This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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