this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
