Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
