It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize