if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
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